We are confronted with very difficult problems everyday.

Actually, it's such hard work to maintain as a fatster. You are faced with difficult decisions all day long. If I order a meal and don't upsize it, i'll be hungry in about half an hour! What do I do? If I upsize it, my colleagues will just look at me in disgust, when really, they are the disgusting ones, trying to look like Tyra Banks and shit. I worry all the time. What am I going to have for dinner next tuesday? WHY MUST LIFE BE SO HARD?