Fatster: May 2006

Speaking of dreams...

I desire...idesire!!! Obviously, this is the dream. We just need to live in a trailer park, have the Osim idesire, eat chips all day, have a hand vacuum cleaner on one side to suck up dirt, cable tv remote in one hand, beer in the other and have a whole family feast bucket by our side. We're all set.

Oprah, give it a rest.

We can't decide if Oprah should be a part of Fatster or not, she keeps losing and putting it on. Hmmm...puzzling this mystery is. We can only dream that if we have a shot getting an Osim chair from her, then she can do whatever she wants. Ahhh...the Osim chair...!

In the eyes of all Fatsters, she is the true American Idol.

Hopefully Singapore would have an idol like that. A fatster Singapore Idol, that would be the dream.

Keepin' it real.

Now there's a woman that's keepin' it real. She doesn't mind hanging out where she eats, and right above her favorite place, KFC. That's a genuine Fatster for you. We should all be proud of her.

Joke of the month
(useful for brightening mood in the office and at client meetings, especially effective when accompanied by the act of dancing)

"No time for exercise? Just get an EXERCISE BOOK."

Start em young!

Saw this H U G E bib during the weekend...

So cute

Catch Ya Later Babes...

This is the best way to capture a baby. Baby's back ribs are lovely. Tony Roma's have good ones. Yum. Anyone up for it? Now, watch closely as our Russian friend, Zangeif, who doesn't say very much but grunts a lot, captures the baby.

5 Easy Steps:
Step 1: Use twigs wisely, make sure the baby will trip.
Step 2: Hide strategically.
Step 3: Lie in wait.
Step 4: Watch baby trip.
Step 5: In a quick instant, capture baby.

It's that simple. Love ma baby back baby back baby back ribbbbbsssss....!

Our first Choir

fat hamster

hamsters in memory ( 2003 - 2005 )

Maggie: The lucky bitch of an elephant.

WE SHOULD ALL GET ONE OF THESE! Picture features a staffer trying to coax Maggie, the Alaska Zoo's elephant (that lucky bitch), onto her custom treadmill Tuesday. We will get one, put it in the living room and stare at it. WHAT? That works our eyes, as we strain our eyes we eventually lose a little bit of weight right? Don't we? Ohkay, for those that want to work harder can engage a personal trainer to get some much needed coaxing *.

The source: read more

* Terms and Conditions apply. If you do lose sufficient weight, you might risk being asked to leave Fatster.

STOP. Here is the ultimate for all fatsters.

I must stop Biff right there. This is a more fitting laptop for Fatsters. It weighs in at 7.1Kg! Not much to worry about if you drop it, sit on it, sleep on it, eat with it or absolutely no worries if you totally by accident - throw it over at someone you don't like in their face. It's lee-ike total-lee cool. HP and Compaq notebooks are far too skinny and too powerful for fatsters!
Acer Aspire 1700 (Pentium 4 2.6GHz, 256MB RAM)
The Source: read more?

The only computer for Fatsters.

The rest just can't make it.

you are not alone...

you are not alone...there are many others like you, and me, and we! fatsters of the world unite!

go get em boys and girls

What's better than good food? Good food at a discount of course...

Print this and see y'all there

Cats are not for chewing

Though we might be hungry many times, but cats are not for chewing.

give it up sandra...

evidence A:
sandra, if you read an earlier post, we have a screening process. trying to get in on jenn's action simply will not do. we are very doubtful that you have the potential as you have provided us in evidence A. so we are really sorry sandra, but we have to give you a pass. no amount of KFC buckets could do anything for you, pretty sure it'll all spew out. check in with us again if anything changes though? when we begin our therapy classes exclusively for fatsters we might consider inviting you in. some people try too hard. *tsk tsk tsk*

jennifer lopez...halfway there with the right ASSets.

another inspiration for us. now, seriously jenn, like what i said the other day, if you want to do more multi-million dollar movies, you better work your way to fatster babes, lee-ike total-lee. honey, suck on my pork lard. come on darling, you can do it. just a little little bit more, we promise, you'll be in.

when i grow up...

Someday when I grow up, I want to be big fatster kid (refer to anthem). That dream will come true, soon I hope. lee-ike total-lee. almost there. almost there. good times. great taste @ mcdonald's.

an inspiration to us all.

These people are an inspiration to us all. Philadelphia, USA, we have to include every single one of them in fatster. we are not alone but we are exclusive.

The Story:
Philadelphia got named 2nd fattest city in the country by Men's Fitness magazine, which I would not have believed had I not gone to Walmart on Delaware Ave. yesterday. It was there that I saw like four people riding around in those carts to shop, not because they were old or handicapped, but because they were just too damn fat to walk. Don't worry, gang, motorized carts will burn off those pounds in no time.

The Source:
http://www.johnnygoodtimes.com/archives/2005_01.shtml

The Question:
Where is the fattest land in the world? That place is where we should invade and take over. I propose we call that place 'Fatty Land'.

fatster chronicles

it has come to our attention that some people would like to be included in this exclusive fatster club. to be honest, we would like to allow everyone in, unfortunately, there is a screening process. if you are found to be not fatster enough, you cannot be a part of this. it has also come to our attention that pregnant women want to be a part of this site, we will not take you into consideration unless your arm should be a regular sized woman's waist. if any fatster members were to lose weight drastically, we're sorry, you just have to go.

$8 FRY RICE

That night I am lying in bed couldnt sleep. And as I watch the rising morn
Gain slowly o'er the yielding sky,
And mark another day new born.

AND I FEEL CHEATED!!!!!!

Bloody hell this Fry Rice cause me $8.
And not delicious at all! Taste like shit!!

Fat Dog

Beware of our Fat CHOW CHOW

Sad mornings...

The worst part about Mondays are not about having to work. I'm all for it. Workaholic-mind-working-all-the-time-type. The problem is WAKING UP ON MONDAY MORNINGS VERY HUNGRY. I haven't had breakie yet, but boy oh boy, am I hungry. This actually sets the bar for how hungry I'll be through the week. I sense a few all-time pig out sessions this week. Having said that, it's time for breakie.

Celebrating Fatness

Create a Fatster Anthem and Win!

Fatster Anthem Contest

Create y0ur very own Fatster Anthem and you could well walk to KFC to have your next meal! Here's an example:

FATSTERS DON'T WANT TO GROW UP (Toys'R'Us old theme song tune).
I just want to grow fat,
I'm a big Fatster kid,
You've got so much for so much,
that you really want to eat...
From KFC to Mutton Curry,
It's a great big Fatster land!
I just want to grow fat,
Coz baby if i did...
I will remain a Fatster kid!

Log on to http://fatster.blogspot.com for more details!

Eat your way to Fatster, today!

ABSOLUT HEAVEN

Any dinner plans tonight?

so many choices, so little stomach space

life as a fatty ain't a bed of roses. there are so many options to choose from out there... haagen daz or ben & jerry's? kfc or mcd's? fries or milkshake?

We are confronted with very difficult problems everyday.

Actually, it's such hard work to maintain as a fatster. You are faced with difficult decisions all day long. If I order a meal and don't upsize it, i'll be hungry in about half an hour! What do I do? If I upsize it, my colleagues will just look at me in disgust, when really, they are the disgusting ones, trying to look like Tyra Banks and shit. I worry all the time. What am I going to have for dinner next tuesday? WHY MUST LIFE BE SO HARD?